Twitter jokes for the week ending Sunday, August 14th 2011

Twitter jokes from @FunFlood for the week ending Sunday, August 14th 2011.
If you like one, favorite it. If it's really good, retweet!

• Guys, if you have to Axe, you'll never score. 8 Aug
• I enjoy getting to know new people by testing to see which touches are inappropriate. 8 Aug
• My cousin's an idiot; today he showed up wearing tights. He'd also stuffed a fish in the crotch—said it was his codpiece. 8 Aug
• Eating McDonald's is like buying death on the installment plan. 8 Aug
• Great, the market crashed, & since the US lost its AAA rating it can't even call a tow truck. So a jump start to the economy is right out. 8 Aug
• Had a call from a headhunter for a position at Vivid Entertainment—on all fours. No, actually it was for Chief Perversity Officer. 8 Aug

• Let he who is without aim cast the first stone at me. 9 Aug
• C'mon Twitter, you should at least be able to get a 9 year old girl to scrawl a sign saying "No Bots Allowed." 9 Aug
• Nickelback? More like Priceofthewholeticketback. 9 Aug
• I got a new job at Hormel sending mass emails extolling canned meat products. 9 Aug
• I insisted I was a Sociobiologist conducting field studies but the cops said I was just a voyeur. 9 Aug
• A stupid woman gets her boobs done. A vain woman gets her nose done. A smart woman gets her brain done. 9 Aug
• The last thing I recall was drinking that glass of cata tonic... 9 Aug
• I've heard that if mauled by a bear you should play dead. But what if the bear's a necrophiliac? 9 Aug
• Seize the carpet dime. 9 Aug

• Got a 40 foot container for the backyard. The kids think it's a playhouse, but the lock's on the outside. 10 Aug
• I was talking to a librarian who told me that her job had changed from re-shelving books to dusting them. 10 Aug
• Got the pickup truck & trailer, now gonna buy some mowers, trimmers, and edgers and start a manscaping service. 10 Aug
• Just imagine if J.K. Rowling had called him Harry Palmer... 10 Aug
• A visit to Maine had me asking, "What's a Penobscot that I don't got?" 10 Aug
• While I managed to annoy the crap out of it, I never made that lobster roll. 10 Aug
• I was talking to my ex-wife when a pop-up appeared saying "CHEW THROUGH THE LEASH: Violate a restraining order!" #achievement 10 Aug
• Years ago people kept catalogs in the outhouse for reading material. And for wiping. Today we use Facebook. 10 Aug

• Ladies, tan lines are way sexy. They're like a highlighter for the naughty bits. 11 Aug
• Timid people of the world, stay home! 11 Aug
• My cousin's wife misunderstood hair extensions and now she's an extension cord Medusa. 11 Aug
• A food scientist seeks the perfect emulsifier while his marriage grows stale for want of a spicy spread, next on Cheez Whiz Theatre. 11 Aug
• I hate that some people say you can choose to be gay. I can't even manage a grin. 11 Aug
• Anyone down to start a new website? Shitter.com—we upload pix of our poops and favorite the best dumps. 11 Aug
• It's nice to know the USA is still #1 in some things, like FREEDOM!!!!! Oh, and prison population. 11 Aug
• Hollywood reboots the seven dwarfs: Spacey, Pushy, Skeevy, Hateful, Horny, Cheesy, and Dumbass 11 Aug

• Her boob job is so bad it's more like an internship. 12 Aug
• My son's trying to choose a major for college next year. Is it Human Physiology or Mechanical Engineering to become a sex toy designer? 12 Aug
• I opened my coat and a pop-up appeared saying "FLASH MOB: Expose yourself to a crowd of people!" #achievement 12 Aug
• I bagged a dust boar that was hiding the refrigerator. 12 Aug
• A guy told me he'd gonna give me the big break I've been hoping for! Or maybe it's about the money I owe him. 12 Aug
• You're not completely deranged until you lose your stove. 12 Aug
• Last time I had a checkup my doctor told me I had high air pressure. #ThatsHowIRoll 12 Aug
• As a kid I'd clothespin baseball cards in my bike's spokes to make engine sounds. Now I've got muscle car sound effects for my Fiesta. 12 Aug

• Who's this guy Fritz, and why is he under all the broken stuff? 13 Aug
• If you're an attractive young heiress with daddy issues then I'm your unemployed older guy. 13 Aug
• Why is it called toe jam? It tastes disgusting on toast! 13 Aug
• I'll stop lowriding when I can afford a set of tires for the rims. 13 Aug
• I'm taking some courses. When my son leaves for high school I start studying—his browser history. 13 Aug
• You know what else doesn't work? Using a belt sander for a do-it-yourself dermabrasion. Or actually it works too well. 13 Aug
• W.C. Fields liked children—fried. So why did he marry Mrs. Fields? She's a baker! 13 Aug
• One time a pig got into the yard and tore through it like a bull in a butcher shop. We ate well that winter. 13 Aug

• So glad I'll never be in the same room with Mila Kunis and Aubrey Plaza, since both my heads would explode. 14 Aug
• When on extended dives members of the submarine service relax to the music of Air Supply. 14 Aug
• My ex-wife once put me on a pedestal. Then she tied a rope around my neck and kicked the pedestal away. 14 Aug
• I painted a big 'S' on its case so I'd have a supercomputer. 14 Aug
• Son, someday this whole cesspool will be urine. 14 Aug

A Twitter feed of original jokes. Put some humor into your day with @FunFlood.
Studies show that laughter is healthy, so take time out for a cup of cheese, er, comedy!

Twitter jokes for the week ending Sunday, August 7th 2011

Twitter jokes from @FunFlood for the week ending Sunday, August 7th 2011.
If you like one, favorite it. If it's really good, retweet!

• The plumbing in Octomom's house must get a workout. By the time the last kid finishes in the bathroom, the first one needs to go again! 1 Aug
• Plastic wood, isn't that another term for dildo? 1 Aug
• Nobody gets in my way when driving, thanks to the stolen "Student Driver" sign. 1 Aug
• Do camels ever stub their toes? Asking for a female friend. 1 Aug
• I'm going to an antiques auction to bid on a collection of Myspace accounts. 1 Aug
• Dropped in on my hacker friend, but there was a sign on his door that said, "Gone phishing." 1 Aug
• My cousin was moving an overturned bed—by crawling around beneath it. When I asked, he said, "Shut up, I'm bedridden!" 1 Aug
• They should make an award for anyone who makes a joke about Chapstick without copying it. 1 Aug
• If Mila Kunis bought the farm I'd still plow her furrow. 1 Aug
• "Do it for the achievement" is the new "Close your eyes and think of England." 1 Aug

• If dogs suddenly started to purr, cats might have to respond by learning to fetch. Or being nice. 2 Aug
• With the bad economy I'd move back in with my parents, but there's no room in the crypt. 2 Aug
• I'll be retiring to prison if I get another mailing from AARP. 2 Aug
• Aww, my son has a new pet, how cute! Oh wait, she's a cougar? Then he's the pet. 2 Aug
• I told my cousin to move to Alaska to mine Klondike bars, and he did! But he got revenge—made a bundle selling cold stone to the creamery. 2 Aug
• Some people switch profile pics more often than I should change my underwear. 2 Aug
• Don't you love that exhilarating rush you get when you're in a speeding subway car, groping? 2 Aug

• My pal went hunting with his dog. He accidentally shot a homing pigeon and the retriever took it to Labrador. 3 Aug
• Ahhh the old days, before sexting—back when girls needed Joe Francis to go wild. 3 Aug
• Every week my older son scams my younger son out of his allowance. Serves me right for naming them Connor and Mark. 3 Aug
• This winter I plan to heat my home with morning wood. Or at least the bedroom. 3 Aug
• Look, just because I get aroused in subway cars doesn't make me metrosexual. 3 Aug
• Told my uncle I was gonna use the Kickstarter website to get funded. He said, "Kickstarter? I'll give you a kick start, right in the ass!" 3 Aug
• My ex-wife used to complain that I have too much spare time on my hands and too much spare tire on my waist. 3 Aug
• Like I tell my son: Always wear a thinking cap if you're gonna think with the other head. 3 Aug
• My younger son came crying because he'd been evicted from his in-game housing and all his virtual stuff was piled on the virtual street. 3 Aug

• I'm not saying he's a messy eater, but we make Gandpa wear a wetsuit to meals. 4 Aug
• Wait, I'm supposed to body groom and manscape until I'm a hairless wuss and then use a spray to turn me back into an animal? Screw that! 4 Aug
• I hate it when just as I get used to and like a woman's hairstyle*, she goes and changes it. *avi 4 Aug
• I was shopping when a pop-up appeared saying "Eeeuww B.O.: Send 10 people fleeing at the mall!" #achievement 4 Aug

• I wonder what Pavlov conditioned his wife to do. 5 Aug
• After 20 years Rip Van Halen wakes up, resumes touring 5 Aug
• When not in high school my son's an online gamer. His favorites are OkCupid, EHarmony & Match.com, and he pwns on Ashley Madison. 5 Aug
• Spencer Pratt would eat no phatt, His wife would eat no peen, And now so broke they both must work, To lick some toilets clean. 5 Aug
• I wear a flak jacket whenever I go shopping near Target. 5 Aug

A Twitter feed of original jokes. Put some humor into your day with @FunFlood.
Studies show that laughter is healthy, so take time out for a cup of cheese, er, comedy!

Twitter jokes for the week ending Sunday, July 31st 2011

Twitter jokes from @FunFlood for the week ending Sunday, July 31st 2011.
If you like one, favorite it. If it's really good, retweet!

• Astronomers just discovered a moon orbiting Pluto—let's call it Goofy! 25 Jul
• Wow, I never noticed this writing on the sole of my foot. "Inspected by #1." I KNEW I was created by God! 25 Jul
• New reality show: People scent something and call the gas company to fix the leak. "Saved by the Smell" 25 Jul

• Didn't Lincoln's Gettysburg tweet start with "Foursquare and seven years ago...?" 26 Jul
• When I go to the beach I like to stuff my swimsuit full of seaweed so it looks like I have a bizarre body hair problem. 26 Jul
• Does anyone still get ring around the collar? 26 Jul

• You know who else changed their name? William Shitner. 27 Jul
• I think my problem is that my focus group has only 1 member. And that he laughs at any joke. And he's my dog. 27 Jul
• Bah! Bedbug! 27 Jul
• I tried Spanx for men but returned them and got my money back. I wore them ALL DAY and there was no pain, redness, or welting AT ALL! 27 Jul
• Got an emergency call from camp—my son escaped again. 27 Jul

• A great way to restore your sanity as a parent is through the liberal use of duct tape. 28 Jul
• Hey, catch you all later—on Wednesday nights I'm a regular at the brothel for the NuvaRing toss. 28 Jul
• So cute, my little nephew pronounces Eminem's name as En-em-a. 28 Jul
• There's just no sport in giving a babe a wedgie when she's wearing a thong. 28 Jul

• Black helicopters from the UN have been following me. High-tech miniature ones...oh, they're just flies. OMG, the UN uses flies now?!? 29 Jul
• Budget cuts at my son's high school. They combined shop class with sex ed—today they learned how to use a drilldo. Next week, the f*cksaw. 29 Jul

• Octomom's dining room was too small so she had the back yard redone as a feedlot. 30 Jul
• Octomom said the hardest part of raising a big herd of kids was getting them all branded. 30 Jul
• I long to meet my soulmate. To be so in synch with a woman that, without speaking, I'll just have the thought and she'll slap me. 30 Jul
• My son was born prematurely, just like the ejaculation that made him. 30 Jul
• He's on the warpath again, who pushed Benjamin's button? 30 Jul
• My wife was furious when I called her the N word. Nagger. 30 Jul

• Why did Barry Diller let his wife call him 'Fang?' 31 Jul
• I've advanced beyond eating in bed by using a bedpan to cook there, too. 31 Jul
• In 1894, Big Brother is dyslexic. 31 Jul
• I wonder if Tom Sizemore is compensating for anything. 31 Jul
• Shark Week on the Discovery Channel? Meh, give me Cougar Week on the Playboy Channel! 31 Jul
• Have you heard about the new website where you rate Twitter accounts? Bot or Not. 31 Jul
• What must we do to have Britney Spears serenade Chris Brown with "Hit me baby one more time?" 31 Jul
• My cousin won't eat potato skins—he says it's cruel how they club the baby potatoes. What an idiot, that's how they make mashed potatoes! 31 Jul
• This year the Discovery Channel is having Henry Winkler host Jump the Shark Week. 31 Jul

Twitter jokes for the week ending Sunday, July 24th 2011

Twitter jokes from @FunFlood for the week ending Sunday, July 24th 2011.
If you like one, favorite it. If it's really good, retweet!

• Why would you name your website to sound like a cleaning product, Spotify? 18 Jul
• Thinking of getting a Porta-Potty so I don't have to clean the bathroom. 18 Jul
• I feel so superior when I see a #FF for someone and they're already unfollowing me. 18 Jul
• You just turned 10? #FourWordsBeforeSex 18 Jul
• Let's get this done. #fourwordsbeforesex 18 Jul
• When meeting someone, I make a bigger impression by using a grenade. 18 Jul
• So You Think You Can Diet? #honestlynamedfoodproducts 18 Jul
• Guys, can we bribe the Teen Choice Awards so Rebecca Black wins? I wanna see the Beliebers' heads explode! 18 Jul
• The Times of London reports "Death of Phone-Hacking Whistleblower not Suspicious, Nothing to See Here, Carry On" 18 Jul
• Showbiz News: In the next Austin Powers film Mike Myers will hand off the role of Dr. Evil to Rupert Murdoch 18 Jul

• My life is stupid, this song is lame, if you are retching, then I'm to blame...I'm pitiful, I'm pitiful, I'm pitiful, quite so -James Blunt 19 Jul
• I'm a weather nerd with a haboob fixation. 19 Jul
• You guys don't understand why we nerds like Mila Kunis: not because she's hot (there are lots of hotties), but because she's a FEMALE GAMER! 19 Jul
• Interesting to see so many girls ogling Neville's Longbottom. #HarryPotter 19 Jul
• If any of you gals are future golddiggers, I recommend you study the juicy wiki page of a master: Murdoch's wife Wendi Deng. 19 Jul
• Headline: Ninja wife Wendi Murdoch held for questioning in yesterday's mysterious death of #hackgate whistleblower Sean Hoare 19 Jul
• Nothing gets between Wendi Murdoch and her husband's money. 19 Jul
• Dammit, is this deodorant or sex repellent? 19 Jul
• So embarassing for pie guy Jonnie Marbles, he got PWNED! By a GIRL! #piegate 19 Jul
• #blackpeoplehobbies and #whitepeoplehobbies are using Twitter to discuss each other's hobbies 19 Jul

• Anyone who thinks Twitter is disgusting wasn't around for Goatse. 20 Jul
• Taking contributions to the "Send Bruno to Mars" fund. 20 Jul
• Can one craft the epic Tweet? One that spurs mass enlightenment, levels power, and ends tyranny thus bringing peace and joy worldwide? Nah. 20 Jul
• Give me a few billion and I'll gladly wipe pie off my face. 20 Jul
• I'm glad they caught Osama. And they just caught his brother! On an airplane. Overhead bin Laden. 20 Jul
• Soap in a Drum and the Janitor is You #honestlynamedproducts 20 Jul
• My brother got VD so he asked the salon for a penicure. 20 Jul
• So which gender is supposed to get turned on by shemales? 20 Jul
• Newspaper tycoon Rupert Murdoch is 80. His wife Wendi Deng is 42, so their age difference works out to 7.6 billion dollars. 20 Jul
• Mayonnaise is the bacon of condiments. 20 Jul
• Bride of Frankenstein #ChrisBrownRomCom 20 Jul
• No woman says, "You're filthy!" the way my mother did. 20 Jul

• My iPhone stopped working when I tried to sink it. 21 Jul
• Crap, another shitty thought pooped into my head. 21 Jul
• Electronic Arts announced FOX News: Black Ops, where players conduct covert actions on disloyal staff, critics, & archrival Huffington Post 21 Jul
• I was chatting up a woman when a dialog appeared saying "STRIKEOUT KING: Whiff on 500 pickup attempts!" #achievement 21 Jul
• I was relaxing by the pool when a pop-up appeared saying "KING LEER: Creep out 12 female bathers!" #achievement 21 Jul
• I was sleeping when a pop-up appeared saying "WET NAPS: Wet the bed on 3 consecutive nights!" #achievement 21 Jul
• I was having a quiet evening at home when a pop-up appeared saying "BIGGEST LOSER: Spend 1000 nights alone!" #achievement 21 Jul
• I thought I had a home run when a dialog appeared saying "NERF BAT: Suffer erectile dysfunction in the sack!" #achievement 21 Jul
• Back later, heading off to the farm for the pick-your-own cow pies. 21 Jul
• They laughed when I sat down at the keyboard, but when I started to type...no sound came out. 21 Jul

• Klout is a load of krap. 22 Jul
• How long must I wait before I can check off the items on my TO-DON'T list? 22 Jul
• After all these years the Emperor still has no clue. 22 Jul
• Is there such a thing as a fat hipster? 22 Jul
• Warning: Farting on a hot day may cause a brownout. 22 Jul
• I though it was Bill Gates who said "140 characters ought to be enough for anybody." 22 Jul

• Twitter has taught me two things: 1. Most women are afraid of spiders. 2. I got the wrong tattoo on my, you know...well, foot. 24 Jul

A Twitter feed of original jokes. Put some humor into your day with @FunFlood.
Studies show that laughter is healthy, so take time out for a cup of cheese, er, comedy!

Twitter jokes for the week ending Sunday, July 17th 2011

Twitter jokes from @FunFlood for the week ending Sunday, July 17th 2011.
If you like one, favorite it. If it's really good, retweet!

• Megan Fox #improvesexlifebybeinginmypants 11 Jul
• The old lady with the soiled housecoat who lives downstairs with five cats #improvesexlifebybeinginmypants 11 Jul

• At first I laughed about flunking my life lessons, but now I'm worried about getting expelled. 12 Jul
• I'm grateful not to live in that alternate universe where Einstein became a famous proctologist after his anus mirabilis. 12 Jul

• I follow so many people I need LifeCall for Twitter: "Help, I've fallen behind and I can't catch up!" 13 Jul
• Had that nightmare again last night where I suddenly deflated. #ThatsHowIRoll 13 Jul
• Chuck Norris may be getting on in years but he's still tough for an old guy -- his Depends are made of steel wool. 13 Jul

• You rubes think that the wheel was such a great invention. Can it roll sideways? Well? #ThatsHowIRoll 14 Jul
• I may be happy now, but I had a tough childhood. The neighborhood kids always wanted me to come out and play kickball. #ThatsHowIRoll 14 Jul
• My doct:or diag:no:sed :me with spas:tic colon. 14 Jul
• In the news: L.A. to require that pets be kept indoors this weekend; pet owners dread looming dogmageddon. 14 Jul
• I have an awesome publicist. He set me up on Facebook by putting my headshot on the Post Office's wall. 14 Jul
• For his birthday I'm getting my brother an LED Fleshlight so he can see what he's doing. 14 Jul
• In the news: Judge's mistrial ruling gives Roger Clemency. 14 Jul
• Wait, did I hear something about Mila Kunis dancing on a Marine's balls? 14 Jul
• I long to see Mila's Kunis. I so long. 14 Jul
• Nothing good ends with "prolapse". 14 Jul
• Just before he offs them, the hitman will be creeping up on the Kardashians. 14 Jul

• I'm sick of ersatz phoniness so I'm moving to L.A. for the genuine article. 15 Jul
• Guys, is it narcissistic if I write fanfic about myself? 15 Jul
• Does scientific thinking boost confidence? No, I dismiss compliments as false positives. 15 Jul
• Being spherical, it's anatomically impossible for me to participate in this stupid planking fad. #ThatsHowIRoll 15 Jul
• Courteous goodwill? An attractively polite manner of behaving? I guess her name doesn't fit Nancy Grace. 15 Jul
• Ladies, just FYI, I'm a master of Ben Wa. #ThatsHowIRoll 15 Jul
• Know what show I'd like to see? It would star a thug and be called "Beating up on the Kardashians." 15 Jul
• I really don't like how vaginas have made vulvas go out of style. 15 Jul

• Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony split. On leaving her husband, J.Lo said she was "tired of him hogging all the Pez." 16 Jul
• Other cities endure construction projects lasting years but L.A. freaks out about Carmageddon, just 53 hours! What a bunch of drama queens. 16 Jul
• My favorite meal starts off with creamed panties. 16 Jul
• To avoid germs, tellers and cashiers should always wear gloves when handling Ke$ha. 16 Jul
• How come no hip-hop peeps ever say "so homo?" 16 Jul
• OK, I admit to stalking Mila Kunis, but I swear it's only because my Alliance guild needs a mage. #WoW #Warcraft 16 Jul
• I got divorced because my wife was disloyal and fooled around on me. Next time I'll marry a Hufflepuff. #HarryPotter 16 Jul

• I want to move to Texas and start a funny farm called "Wacko in Waco." 17 Jul
• I don't care about her looks or personality, the only thing that matters is her performance between the tweets. 17 Jul
• If they could digitally remove Voldemort's nose, couldn't they remove Paris Hilton's entire body from every movie she's been in? 17 Jul
• Casey Anthony released from jail, to star in TV version of "Where's Waldo?" 17 Jul
• A sure sign of the next Internet bubble will be Favstar's IPO. 17 Jul
• Now that she's free, Casey Anthony's lawyer should tell her to shop somewhere other than Target. Just sayin'. 17 Jul
• Um, I think I just heard this Frogurt say, "Ribbit." 17 Jul
• I didn't fear intimacy before I saw The Vagina Dentata Monologues. 17 Jul
• Baby, let me rototill your ladygarden. 17 Jul
• No Facebook, Sherlock. #replaceshitwiththewordfacebook 17 Jul
• I added all the Kardashians to my Facebook list. #replaceshitwiththewordfacebook 17 Jul

A Twitter feed of original jokes. Put some humor into your day with @FunFlood.
Studies show that laughter is healthy, so take time out for a cup of cheese, er, comedy!

Twitter jokes for the week ending Sunday, July 3rd 2011

Twitter jokes from @FunFlood for the week ending Sunday, July 3rd 2011.
If you like one, favorite it. If it's really good, retweet!

• That awkward moment when the sorting hat on #Pottermore puts you into Hufflepuff. At least the mascot is a badger & not a pink bunny 27 Jun
• My apartment is such a mess, it's best if you call before you come over to give me a chance to tidy up. About 6 months notice should do it, 27 Jun
• Twitter, the official media of the land of Too Much Information 27 Jun
• If JK Rowling opened a new website for horny women would she call it Peckermore? 27 Jun

• Nitwit Teller #RejectedMallStores 28 Jun
• There ought to be a Miranda warning for Twitter oversharers #Youhavetherighttoremainsilent 28 Jun

• Surprised 'Luke Chrisco' isn't trending yet. The jokes will practically write themselves! 29 Jun
• What's the deal with male celebs like Bieber with their own perfume lines? The latest guy with a new fragrance is Luke Chrisco 29 Jun
• In a bid to make Charlie Sheen seem sane, Luke Chrisco, Boulder's porta-potty peeper said, "I wanted to start a new goddess religion" 29 Jun
• Dammit, until Luke Chrisco goes viral nobody's gonna get these jokes 29 Jun
• Do you think 'Winnie the Pooh' is a favorite book of Luke Chrisco? 29 Jun
• Luke Chrisco is further proof that shyness + testosterone = crazy 29 Jun
• For a good laugh google 'Luke Chrisco' For the best stuff read the jailhouse interviews 29 Jun
• What did Luke Chrisco say while waiting in line for the restroom? "Shit or get in the pot" 29 Jun
• Isn't it a bit ironic that voyeur Luke Chrisco expressed his psychosexual disorder via a restroom peephole in the Psychology building of CU? 29 Jun
• Pottermore? Wouldn't it have been more honest if JK Rowling just called her new website Cashmore? 29 Jun

• Joe Jonas behind Tumbler trending: I thought the Jonas Brothers got eaten by a whale #guessiwaswrong 30 Jun
• Does 'Ugly Americans' trending have anything to do with Jersey Shore? 30 Jun
• Ya think Rupert Murdoch wishes Joe Jonas had misspelled Myspace? 30 Jun

• I'm confident enough to admit that I know there's a long Wikipedia entry on Involuntary celibacy 1 Jul
• I won't stalk anyone who would not have me as their stalker #WoodyAllenwithatwist 1 Jul

• Once everyone is following everyone else will Twitter become like the restaurant that's "so crowded that nobody goes there anymore"? 2 Jul
• Damn, misread it. I thought will.i.am and others were fleeing from a giant flaming Paris Hilton. 2 Jul
• You know which musician I'd like to see playing on a pedestrian overpass? Chord Overstreet 2 Jul
• In my case, #FF means another #FailFriday, sitting at home alone on the computer. 2 Jul
• This is so wrong #fourwordsaftersex 2 Jul
• That can't be cured #fourwordsaftersex 2 Jul
• 1. Was nine times enough? 2. My bosses turn now 3. Same time next year? 4. It could be worse #fourwordsaftersex times four 2 Jul

A Twitter feed of original jokes. Put some humor into your day with @FunFlood.
Studies show that laughter is healthy, so take time out for a cup of cheese, er, comedy!