What if life had achievements like a video game?

• I thought I had a home run when a dialog appeared saying "NERF BAT: Suffer erectile dysfunction in the sack!" 21 Jul
  
• I was having a quiet evening at home when a pop-up appeared saying "BIGGEST LOSER: Spend 1000 nights alone!" 21 Jul
  
• I was sleeping when a pop-up appeared saying "WET NAPS: Wet the bed on 3 consecutive nights!" #achievement 21 Jul
• I was relaxing by the pool when a pop-up appeared saying "KING LEER: Creep out 12 female bathers!" 21 Jul
• I was chatting up a woman when a dialog appeared saying "STRIKEOUT KING: Whiff on 500 pickup attempts!" 21 Jul

Baby picture

Taken shortly after the Twitter account was created.

Justin Timberlake practically screams to the world, "I'm gay!"

Since being attractive isn't important when lives are on the line, normally a female soldier's looks don't matter.

But that changes when a female soldier asks a guy out.

When I saw the video of female marine Kelsey De Santis asking Justin Timberlake to the Marine Corps Ball, I spent the entire video a bit confused. Like most guys, I was watching her closely trying to figure out if, despite her regulation military appearance, she was hot.

But not Justin Timberlake. Apparently Justin spent the entire video ogling the "beefcake military guys" in the back!

"I accept, but not because she...had all those beefcake military guys behind her to try and intimidate me, although that probably would have worked by itself."

Don't you just love how Mila quickly wipes the smile off her face when she catches herself grinning hugely due to Justin saying "beefcake military guys?"

Trenders

• 12 Jul: You claimed that #iloveaboy and we Rise & Grind together. #Juststoprightthere 'cause #ifihadanickeleverytime you slandered me, I'd be rich.
• 10 Jul: #ihavenotolerance for Fairly Odd Parents so #whoeverimarry should like Watching Harry Potter
• 9 Jul: 7MillionSwifties were Watching Selena give Betty Ford a Last Kiss?
• 9 Jul: Interesting. #wheneverimbored it seems that I've been Watching Selena. In this case Correlation DOES imply causation.

New Product Ideas

• 7 Jul: New product idea: The NoseBra lifts and separates your nostrils so you breathe freely.
• 5 Jul: New product idea, it's a bug spray called ON! You spray it on someone else.

Offensive tweet by @gothgirlproblem

@gothgirlproblem is a Twitter feed containing themed jokes. I didn't know until today that occasionally @gothgirlproblem is offensive.

 

Here's the offensive tweet:

@gothgirlproblem goth girl problems

My parents are being really Jewish about the AC. My eyebrows are going to drip off. #gothgirlproblems

I'm not Jewish or even religious, but I hate this type of thing. In this case it's anti-semitic, but what's next? Insulting Muslims or Catholics?