Friday, August 5, 2011

Twitter jokes for the week ending Sunday, July 3rd 2011

Twitter jokes from @FunFlood for the week ending Sunday, July 3rd 2011.
If you like one, favorite it. If it's really good, retweet!
  • That awkward moment when the sorting hat on #Pottermore puts you into Hufflepuff. At least the mascot is a badger & not a pink bunny 27 Jun
  • My apartment is such a mess, it's best if you call before you come over to give me a chance to tidy up. About 6 months notice should do it, 27 Jun
  • Twitter, the official media of the land of Too Much Information 27 Jun
  • If JK Rowling opened a new website for horny women would she call it Peckermore? 27 Jun
  • Nitwit Teller #RejectedMallStores 28 Jun
  • There ought to be a Miranda warning for Twitter oversharers #Youhavetherighttoremainsilent 28 Jun
  • Surprised 'Luke Chrisco' isn't trending yet. The jokes will practically write themselves! 29 Jun
  • What's the deal with male celebs like Bieber with their own perfume lines? The latest guy with a new fragrance is Luke Chrisco 29 Jun
  • In a bid to make Charlie Sheen seem sane, Luke Chrisco, Boulder's porta-potty peeper said, "I wanted to start a new goddess religion" 29 Jun
  • Dammit, until Luke Chrisco goes viral nobody's gonna get these jokes 29 Jun
  • Do you think 'Winnie the Pooh' is a favorite book of Luke Chrisco? 29 Jun
  • Luke Chrisco is further proof that shyness + testosterone = crazy 29 Jun
  • For a good laugh google 'Luke Chrisco' For the best stuff read the jailhouse interviews 29 Jun
  • What did Luke Chrisco say while waiting in line for the restroom? "Shit or get in the pot" 29 Jun
  • Isn't it a bit ironic that voyeur Luke Chrisco expressed his psychosexual disorder via a restroom peephole in the Psychology building of CU? 29 Jun
  • Pottermore? Wouldn't it have been more honest if JK Rowling just called her new website Cashmore? 29 Jun
  • Joe Jonas behind Tumbler trending: I thought the Jonas Brothers got eaten by a whale #guessiwaswrong 30 Jun
  • Does 'Ugly Americans' trending have anything to do with Jersey Shore? 30 Jun
  • Ya think Rupert Murdoch wishes Joe Jonas had misspelled Myspace? 30 Jun
  • I'm confident enough to admit that I know there's a long Wikipedia entry on Involuntary celibacy 1 Jul
  • I won't stalk anyone who would not have me as their stalker #WoodyAllenwithatwist 1 Jul
  • Once everyone is following everyone else will Twitter become like the restaurant that's "so crowded that nobody goes there anymore"? 2 Jul
  • Damn, misread it. I thought and others were fleeing from a giant flaming Paris Hilton. 2 Jul
  • You know which musician I'd like to see playing on a pedestrian overpass? Chord Overstreet 2 Jul
  • In my case, #FF means another #FailFriday, sitting at home alone on the computer. 2 Jul
  • This is so wrong #fourwordsaftersex 2 Jul
  • That can't be cured #fourwordsaftersex 2 Jul
  • 1. Was nine times enough? 2. My bosses turn now 3. Same time next year? 4. It could be worse #fourwordsaftersex times four 2 Jul
A Twitter feed of original jokes. Put some humor into your day with @FunFlood.
Studies show that laughter is healthy, so take time out for a cup of cheese, er, comedy!

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